Our Services
Share is Here, and We Can Help
Here at Share, we want you to know we see you. We see your immeasurable heartache, your outpouring of love and grief for your baby, and your courageous steps toward healing after your loss. We are here to help, with support, resources, a listening ear, and information. Though you may feel lost in grief, you are not alone. We are here.
If you are in the St. Louis Metropolitan area, please join us for an in-person support group the second Tuesday of every month, 7pm at the National Share Office, 1600 Heritage Landing Suite 100 St. Peters, MO 63303. For more information, please contact Jenn Stachula at jstachula@nationalshare.org. Jenn is the group leader and will reach out with additional information, and can answer any questions you may have.
If you are not in the St. Louis area or can't make it to the in-person group, please join us over Zoom for a support meeting, on the third Monday of the month at 11 a.m. Contact Cindy Swain at cswain@nationalshare.org for more information. Due to the sensitive nature of these groups, please do not bring children or babies with you to our in-person or virtual groups.
If you would prefer to connect with other parents online in a moderated chat, please explore our online support opportunities below. A meeting is held each week of the month, covering a variety of topics. Please feel free to join in any chat that feels right for you.
The privacy of our families is of utmost important to us. Our services are confidential and we will never share personal or private information without consent. You can trust we will hold your stories in the gentlest hands.
Support
Everyone grieves differently; we can help you find the support unique to your needs. Whether your loss was recent or in years past, we are here for you. If you need someone to talk to, please call us at 1-800-821-6819.
Remembrance
The national Share office hosts 10 free memorial events a year. We understand families need to continue to love, honor, and remember their baby. Click here to see events.
Education
Share provides comprehensive perinatal bereavement care training for caregivers, healthcare professionals, Funeral Directors, bereaved families, Share Chapter leaders, and other caregivers. Learn More
Comfort Kits & Sibling Bags
Share provides comfort kits to parents who have experienced a loss to provide hope and healing during the darkest days. These special boxes are available at burials, support groups and other Share events. The sibling bags are backpacks filled with items designed to help children cope with the loss of a brother or sister. If you would like more information, or to request one for yourself or a loved one, please reach out to Share.
We are here to listen and support you.
Share Español: Esperanza
Bienvenidos a Share Español: Esperanza. Este grupo de apoyo ha sido creado para servir a familias de habla Hispana a afrontar el duro proceso de duelo debido a la trágica pérdida del bebé durante el embarazo, antes del nacimiento o durante los primeros meses de vida.
La misión principal es la de brindar apoyo, comprensión y sobre todo esperanza a toda familia afectada por esta terrible pérdida.
Share es una organización nacional con más de 75 grupos en 29 estados del país.
Programs
The loss of a baby is a profoundly painful experience that many families carry quietly each day. While loved ones often want to help, their support may not always fully reflect the depth or complexity of a grieving parent’s experience. Connecting with others who have experienced a similar loss can provide comfort and understanding, and helps grieving parents feel seen, less alone, and reassured that the wide range of emotions they are experiencing is both valid and shared.
A parent’s love for their child does not end. At Share, we understand that ongoing support and opportunities to remember and honor their baby are essential parts of a parent’s grief and healing journey. Our programs are designed to help parents honor their love, remember in community, and heal with peers walking a similar path. And our support doesn't stop with helping parents: we are here for the entire family, as well as your friends and community. Explore Share's many programs to find the support that is right for you.
Share partners with hospitals, community organizations and bereaved parents nationwide to establish perinatal bereavement programs in their communities, known as Chapters. Share supports the community nationally with weekly online support group meetings, moderated parent Facebook pages, an online Sharing Magazine, and free parent and professional grief support resource packets.
Companions are bereaved parents trained by the Share staff. The Share Companion program exists to provide peer support in the hospital at the time of a loss, through phone support, online support and attending support groups and memorial events. Contact Cindy Swain, Director of Bereavement Care, cswain@nationalshare.org, if you are interested in being a Companion or starting a Companion program.
Share distributes more than 5,000 free informational packets and brochures annually. Share regularly updates and creates new materials, as well as working to help inform our Share chapters with new available resources. Bereavement programs nationwide purchase Share materials to help support families. Share materials are an excellent resource families and available in English and Spanish.
Grandparents grieve the loss of their grandchild, but also for the grief and pain that they cannot take away from their own child. Grandparents can experience many of the same emotions as the parents but often their focus is for their adult children that are grieving, leaving them to mourn and grieve their grandchild on their own. Share provides an annual grandparent event for our local families, printed resources specific for grandparents, as well as trained grandparent Companions.
"In 1998, an online search brought me to the National Share Office website, where I was able to post on message boards and chat in a chatroom with others who knew about the pain I had been suffering silently for so long! I had finally found a way to honor my babies, by reaching out and listening with a compassionate heart to other newly bereaved parents, so that they would not have to feel as alone as I had. So much has changed in my life and at Share since then but the mission has always remained the same: to give bereaved parents a safe place to find comfort, understanding, a kind voice, a caring heart, a way to honor and remember, and the resources necessary to survive the most unimaginable of losses. From the bottom of my heart I am forever grateful to Share for giving me a way to validate Kathryn(1988) Keith(1989), Leigh(1990) and my two other precious babies(1984;1985). The experiences are forever woven into the tapestry of my life." - Susan
Frequently Asked Questions
Parents
What can I do to memorialize my baby?
No matter how far along you were when your precious baby died, having a memorial for your baby can be a way to express your love and provide a way for family and friends to have a remembrance of your baby.
You can also get a special piece of jewelry or a tattoo, put together a shadow box of their ultrasound photo and other items, or get an ornament each year in their memory. There are so many things you can do to make new traditions that include your precious baby.
How can I get through this?
When your baby dies at any stage of pregnancy or as a newborn, you are likely to experience a wide array of emotions ranging from shock to numbness to anger and everything in between. Share offers resources such as booklets and brochures that explain the many emotions you may feel and go through in the coming days, weeks, and months. All of us at Share are here to help you in any way we can. We offer in person and online support groups, memorial events that you can participate in in person or virtually, and phone support if you need someone to talk to.
What can I do to help my children who were looking forward to a new baby?
The death of a baby can have a profound impact on children. Children experience two losses when a baby dies: The death of the sibling they were looking forward to as well as the "death" of the parent they had before the baby died. Children have different understandings of death based on their age, and Share has resources to help you explain what happened to your children. For a Children's Grief brochure or list of books for children about the loss of a sibling, contact the Share office.
My friend lost her baby, how can I help?
When a parent experiences the death of a baby during pregnancy or as a newborn, friends and family may want to help, but they often do not know what to say or how to help. The best thing you can do is be there to listen and support your loved one. Let them know you care and are thinking of them. Share offers a brochure called Ways to Support a Parent Whose Baby has Died that can offer tips for ways you can support your loved one who has experienced this tragic loss. Contact Share or request a packet of information through our website for this brochure and other resources.
Is the loss of a baby in pregnancy or shortly after birth an unusual occurrence?
Perinatal loss (miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death) is a far more common experience than people realize. One in every four pregnancies end in miscarriage. Approximately one in 160 pregnancies ends in stillbirth. And of every 100 live births, one baby will die in the first 28 days of life (neonatal death).
Caregivers
What opportunities does Share offer for education?
Share provides comprehensive perinatal bereavement care training for caregivers, healthcare professionals, funeral directors, bereaved families, and Share Chapter leaders. Check out our education page.
Does Share offer resources in Spanish?
Yes, absolutely. For more information on all of our Spanish services, please visit https://nationalshare.org/share-espanolesperanza/
What should I not say to someone who has lost a baby?
"At least you were not that far along."
"At least you didn't take the baby home."
"At least you have another child."
"Everything happens for a reason."
"But you can have another baby."
"Now you have an Angel in heaven."
"God would never give you more than you can handle."
"Better to happen now before you knew the baby."
Fundraising
Is Share a non-profit?
Yes, Share is a 501c3 nonprofit and relies on the generosity of individuals, companies and foundations to provide services free of charge to every family seeking grief support.
Can I host my own fundraiser?
Absolutely! Contact Emily Swain to find out how to host your own event, eswain@nationalshare.org. Some common events are kickball tournaments, neighborhood progressive dinners, a car wash, casual dress day at work, themed holiday parties, or a social media birthday fundraiser.
I can't give a large amount but how can I make an impact for Share?
Every gift is significant to Share and makes a huge difference to the families we serve. Make a one-time gift or consider joining our monthly giving club. Click here to join or give.
Why should I give to the Endowment Fund?
Making an endowed gift is one of the most powerful ways to have a lasting impact on Share. It creates stability for Share to stay intact through financial hardships and instills fiscal responsibility by alleviating pressure on the annual fund. The great part is that the endowment is invested and can grow over time, allowing us to fulfill our mission for years to come.
For more information, contact Jessie Bruckerhoff, Accounting & Business Director, at jbruckerhoff@nationalshare.org